Hahaha. For ganske mange år siden, da jeg fortsatt bodde hos mine foreldre, hadde jeg et prosjekt der jeg tok med båndopptaker til middagsbordet og dokumenterte samtalene. Ikke vet jeg hvorfor. Alle lydopptakene er nok borte for lengst, men i dag fant jeg et worddokument med en kort transkribert samtale:

Pappa (om et mystisk utslett som skaper mye hodebry for tiden): it’s only on the left side of my body. Look! Isn’t that weird?

Medusa (til Pappa): Are you getting smaller arms?

Mamma: Mhm.

Pappa: I don’t know…

Medusa: Oh my god! You’re getting chicken arms!

Mamma: He’s getting old, his arms are getting small and his belly is growing big.

Meg: What was that you said about your body yesterday?

Pappa: I said...  It’s beautiful, I have a beautiful body.

Mamma: When you get old, you’re arms and legs grow weaker and your belly grows big. Like Bestefar. A lot smaller arms than belly.

Pappa: Look at this! I can’t believe this rash is on my hand now. It makes no sense. Right here! Up along the whole side there and down here. All the way along here.

Mamma: Shouldn’t you pay more attention to my fever than your rash?

Pappa: As a matter of fact, no. ‘Cause I know your fever is just a little cold, and it’s gonna go by. My rash, we have no idea what it is… if it’s a rash, if its eczema…

Mamma (gestikulerer mot magen sin): The pain in the side here could be anything. It could be ovarian cancer, it could be anything. You don’t know.

Pappa: Yeah, well you’re the one going around with a freaking ball in their boobie or whatever it is.

Mamma: Poopy?

Pappa: No, no, in their uterus.

Mamma: Ja ja ja.

Pappa (til hundene, i en tåpelig stemme): Oh so nice doggies. Good girl Billie, and you Doris, am I saying nice things to your mother (Billie)?

Medusa: why is gas dangerous to inhale?